Just being is how I have survived theses days. Mostly watch the world go by. It's harder to just be, I'm naturally a doer. I find joy in doing for others and now it is a real challenge and drain just doing for myself. I can get comfy settled on my couch and become afraid to to things because I will use up too much energy and not have any left for the rest of the day. I've played around with activity levels and if I play hard I fall into a deep sleep for like 3 hours afterwards. Most days I'm able to play to some degree of rest and activity balance that works really well. The other day was more of a struggle than most days. Most days I'm able to use the joy and happiness life has to offer. Managing to get outside and enjoy seeing plants grow and watch the world go by and interact with friends or family are all still very present in my life.
The other day my daughter, parents and I managed to get to the library followed by a stop at the park, reading lying in the grass and making Daisie chains. A glorious afternoon! The following day I woke up feeling lost and unsure of what I'm able to do. But by the end of the afternoon my daughter and I were creating a fancy fairy garden and having a blast doing it!
With medication changes, loving support of family and friends & prayer I am slowly finding my way back to being functional again. I have been able to see God at work in my life and been able to lean on him, trust him and realize my purpose is to praise him, trust him and pray and think of those around me. That my energy can do!
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